Saturday, August 27, 2011

Two sides of the same, beautiful coin.

He detests most fruits, while she loves them. She loves playing the guitar and singing while he used to bunk music classes. He dances in the shower, while she sings using the shower head as a microphone. Her dancing is abysmal while he takes joy in dancing. She can spend hours reading books, while he falls asleep one page into the novel. He loves swimming and she thrives on yoga. He can eat eggplants like there is no tomorrow, while she squirms at the sight of them. The list goes on.

Opposites attract, according to the 1988 hit by Paula Abdul. This belief has been bolstered by several studies and challenged by a few. A study conducted by the University of Iowa in 2005 claims that similarity in personality was found to more important that other traits such as attitude, religion and values and this forms an everlasting union of two souls. I beg to differ.

My personal take on this matter is that, yes, people who are opposites in their interests may fall for one another. But ultimately, those who are similar in their character and deep-set beliefs will fall for one another and then keep falling for one another for the rest of their lives. It becomes a bond that lasts for life. Once that base is strong, the interests, nuances in daily life as well as idiosyncrasies may be starkly different but they will complement one another in a couple and add that spice to the relationship. After all, two people who are exactly the same will be like bland soup without flavourings.

One may classify someone as having multiple levels of being, but for illustration purposes one may take it as a two-level model. The top level is the conscious level, which includes one’s personality, interests and attitude. These include favourite authors, hobbies and basically one’s idiosyncrasies. The second level is the core of a person, including deep-set beliefs, underlying principles, character and of course, the soul. Matching of the conscious level is not as crucial as the congruency of beliefs at that second level. Someone who is able to match one’s second level of being will be someone who will love you for the rest of your life. If the top level is slightly mismatched, it just adds to the flavour of the relationship.

Marriage is not just a union of two people, but a merging of two souls. It takes understanding from both parties and compromise on tiny aspects to create magic. This is not an overnight event, but one that unfolds over the course of one’s life. Ultimately, if one is able to open one’s heart to possibilities and wholeheartedly accept someone without conditions attached, one would be able to love another and accept the tiny nuances.

Once you find that someone, the heart knows - if you let it know. Partners are made in heaven and delivered to us in packages when we least expect them. Opening them wholeheartedly gives you joy like no other - love, in its purest form. That is, if you choose to have faith.

So yes, opposites can attract when two hearts beat with the same rhythm and two souls understand the depths of each other - it is nothing short of magic.