Hiding behind a mask

Masks are unfortunately indispensable today because of the ongoing pandemic. I for one, have been doning a N95 mask in my own house for the past couple of days after I tested positive for the virus, to keep my loved ones safe. 

Over here, I am not merely talking about the physical mask, which is now available in different designs and colours to meet every whim and fancy, but of a non-physical mask that we don from time to time. With the advent of Instagram and a million other similar applications, tweaking one's looks or rather photographs has become a breeze. What we see online may have been filtered to how one would like oneself to be perceived by the world.

Technological advancements aside, the plastic surgery business has blossomed over the decades. I call it a business because it is very similar to luring customers to buy products, in this case modifications to their bodies. Some estimates suggest that one in three South Korean women between 19 and 29 have had plastic surgery while others estimate it to be one in two women. Common procedures include blepharoplasty, where they insert a crease in the eyelid to make it look bigger, rhinoplasties or nose jobs as well as glutathione injections to give people a fairer skin tone. All this for what? To meet some human-defined ideas of what 'ideal' beauty looks like. This drives millions to modify what is God-given and create other versions of themselves that fit in with societal norms.

The past has seen its share of body modifications from scarification (cutting or permanently burning designs into the flesh), tongue-splitting, dermal implants, neck extensions, foot binding and the list goes on. 

Are these not similar to wearing masks over who we truly are? Are we not hiding underneath a fake exterior and becoming someone who we are not? WHY do we need these masks? The world has become one big masquerade ball.

It all boils down to expectations. The expectations that we think society has of people, the expectations that people have of other people and the expectations that we have for ourselves. If we stop thinking about who we are on the outside and internalise who we really are within, we will stop trying to critically analyse our bodies and who we want to be seen as. Instead, focus on the soul, the mind and the inner you. Throw those external masks away and let yourself be seen as you are. The radiance and glow will come from within, without the aid of those glutathione injections. 

Gratitude

Life has its bumps and setbacks and I for one have seen quite a few - the passing of my grandma and father in 2015 in one of the major downturns in the narrative of my life. That being said, I have a deep sense of gratitude for many things. A happy, healthy family is one of my greatest blessings. Two beautiful daughters (inside and outside) who call me mum, a husband who is supportive of my spiritual endeavours as well as my career and hobbies, my mother and my in-laws.

There is much to be grateful for on a daily basis, even though life is hardly a bed of roses. Very often, what throws us back from gratitude is being blinded by things that we yearn for - things that we THINK we need. Apart from the greed of material possessions, which never seem enough, we get blinded by the expectations that we set for others and the expectations of how each and every moment should be. We start thinking we can control what happens around us and how others react - like puppets on strings - but this is all a facade.

We start judging the moment as well as the people around us, when in reality, life unfolds itself as one large narrative that starts at the cradle and ends with our last breath. Why judge the moment and why hold such high expectations of others as though we have any control over how life pans out. We are simply digging potholes for ourselves. We can only do what we can and the outcome is not in our hands. Instead, we need to embrace the moment and experience moments and people as they come and go, without requiring them to be perfect by our own expectations.

Take everything with a pinch of salt (and pepper or paprika) and enjoy the ride. There are bound to be obstacles or bumps along the way but if we choose to see them as steps on the ladder of spiritual growth, then we will be grateful even for the setbacks.

Gratitude is essentially what everything boils down to, because gratitude also encompasses acceptance. Acceptance of the situation and acceptance of the people in our lives. Both, as they are.