The river

It is normal for us as human beings to respond to situations with emotions. When we get slapped in the face, for instance, the urge to return the slap arises almost instantly. Our logical reasoning skills plummet and our rational mind becomes fuzzy. When we act on impulse, a domino ensues where one thing leads to another and strains relationships, our health deteriorates or we lose our mind. This sort of response is highly likely to occur if we live life in a past-paced environment where we do not have time to quieten our mind and think to ourselves. We disregard the fact that we are ultimately human beings and not robots who do not need a break to cleanse ourselves from within. It is then that these negative emotions we exude on a daily basis form an overall negative thinking progress and ultimately a foul attitude towards life and others. We fail to realise that it is in fact ourselves who create this negative nature through repetitive negative thinking.

If we try to slow down our pace of life and take out some time for internalization, this situation can improve significantly. Slowing down means our reaction time gets lengthened and we react on impulse much less. Slowly but surely, the mind starts to take in the situation before us and thinks before we act or speak. It is a gradual process that comes from training the mind through meditation or simply giving some time to ourselves to process information. As this thought process sets in, we start to accept any given situation and think of a logical, practical solution. This is synonymous to two contestants in a boxing, sumo-wrestling or judo competition - they shake hands or bow to each other before engaging in combat. Similarly, if we 'shake hands' with our problems or a situation causing distress, we would be able to gauge it better and we would better know how to handle it as well. That is, without causing any explosion. An explosion would not only hurt the opposite party but us as well; something which we tend to overlook.

Ultimately, we need to remember that life is like a river. Sometimes it flows slowly, sometimes it flows faster; sometimes it dries up while at other times it overflows. Trying to change any given situation and using the 5 W's and 1 H to analyse it is like attempting to dam the river and control it. If we do this, there would be a pressure build-up on the other side, which would cause our health to deteriorate from stress or even create tensions in relationships. 

On the other hand, if we flow with the river, that would lead to us compromising on ourselves. For instance, if someone slaps us, we end up slapping them back. That would be like flowing with the river and thinking that that is the accepted mode of conduct. Similarly, if one thinks that their emotions are valid in a certain situation and stay attached to negative emotions such as hurt or distress, that would be like flowing with the river as well (i.e. letting the situation control you).

The best solution would be to plant our feet firmly in the same position while letting the situation wash past us. In this process, we come into contact with the situation, acknowledge it, accept it and think of a solution so that we can overcome it. In this scenario, we neither try to change the situation nor let it control us.

We stay rooted to the soil and emerge as a lotus from the river.

The Treasures

I am blessed to have people in my life who have never weighed my love, nor questioned my intentions. My friends, my family and now my husband - these people make me complete and enhance the person that I am. They reminded me throughout everything, that I should stop punishing myself for things I cannot change. They reminded me that I deserve to be loved and picked me up when I had fallen. They made me realize that I am strong and brave and have been all along. When I get lost, they act as direction signs to get me back to who I am. This is all because God made it so - He makes sure we go along the right path and sends signals to show that.

If we look long and hard enough, we will come to realize that the answers we look for, are inside us and either loved ones, our own efforts to look inside ourselves or the course of time will bring them out.

I recently read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. It is a remarkable tale of a young shepherd who has a recurring dream about buried treasures near the Egyptian pyramids. In pursuit of these treasures, he sets off and meets several people along the way who 'guide' him towards the pyramids. Each time, he is faced with stages where he needs to make decisions - whether to sell his sheep, whether to split the treasure, whether to give up and return and so forth. The thoughts are never-ending, but he follows his heart nonetheless. He even sells his beloved sheep. Eventually he reaches the destination, only to discover that his treasures are hidden where he first started off.

This tale spins a truthful picture of how life is in reality. We are sent down to earth with the answers already embedded in each of us and slowly but surely the problems we need to face unravel. But it is a necessary journey - we need to face these and we need to make difficult decisions and take risks along the way to gain that ultimate realization. There is no easy way out. Along the way, one will be judged, ridiculed, misunderstood or slammed down, but those are just tests. We need to focus on our ultimate goal and with a clean conscience and we will reach it as long as we follow our heart (or gut). The journey is to teach us lessons and with each step we will only get closer to God, so that we realize that the treasure was with us all along.

God will see to it and God will catch us when we fall,

and then sudden realization will strike, that we had the answers after all.

Some things are not for sale.

It was a powerful image – a simple action, yet it spoke a million thundering words. The boy – could not be older than four – spat on his palm and then smoothed it over his palms before applying his spit over the desiccated skin on his feet. It was the winter season and it does not help that the humidity of the air had plummeted, subjecting human skin to drying – that is if unprotected by moisturisers and other skin products. This boy had none of such products to protect his skin from the harsh nature of a dry winter. He used what he did have – what God gifted upon us – the human body. But in spite of such conditions, he seemed content.

On the other side of the road lay miles and miles of closely packed huts made of scrap metal, twigs and even flapping pieces of cloth. These slums, mostly illegal, house thousands of people in a small space, leaving each person to approximately a metre-square of space. But one thing, almost misfitting, was the smile on their faces. I turned my face and noticed a passer by, yielding a briefcase and suited-up probably for a meeting, typing on his handheld device with a frown upon his face. Right next to him a man carries a parcel of laundry on his head and smiles at a fellow slum dweller and gives the friendly Indian head wiggle.

Are those who have less material possessions truly the less fortunate? This question pops into my head. I gather images I have seen throughout my life – from village-settings to city-settings and start mentally comparing and contrasting these situations and images. Every thought points to the same answer – material possessions and wealth are not necessarily tied to happiness. Yes, money buys you luxury items and good healthcare, lodgings, food and fulfils every possible desire. But money cannot buy certain intangibles – love, trust, smiles and basically positive affect. It does not necessarily go hand in hand. In fact, the more people have, the less easily satisfied they become and the greater the expectations become of luxury. Definitions morph, priorities change and people start living hollow lives, if they let material possessions get a grip of them.

Then my mind drifted again – perhaps it is not just the money. It becomes a survival of the fittest. City dwellers are so busy climbing ahead of each other that they forget the essence of camaraderie. I have stayed in a village setting or in rural remote areas prior to this and have noticed that people live as a community, not as an individual. Their definition of brothers and sisters is not limited to the four corners of their house but beyond, to the people in houses next to them and basically the entire community. They live as a whole breathing, laughing, loving unit. They may have a dollar note in their pocket instead of wads of thousand dollar notes but they have priceless emotions in their hearts. Their eyes swim with tears of joys rather than hurt and sadness. So who is truly less fortunate here?

Ultimately, no matter which part of the globe we are at or our status of living, we should remind ourselves that we are breathing, feeling humans who are born the same as everyone else. We enter this world with nothing and leave with nothing. We can garner one simple thought on a daily basis which will make miles of a difference in the way we live life – be appreciative for what you have. Always remember that we were all born the same and no one is ‘less fortunate’ than the other. God gives everyone equally – some may attain wealth while others attain unconditional love. Whatever it is, we leave this world with nothing but our deeds – so love your brothers and sisters beyond the four corners of your home. Love cannot be charged to your credit card.

The scales.

When yogis speak of chakras there is always mention of a balance of our energy points. For instance, over-stimulation of our Anahata chakra leads to ego, pride and selfishness. Under-stimulation on the other hand leads to thoughts of hopelessness and despair, while a balance leads to the desired outcome of love, empathy, selflessness and devotion. On a similar note, our body's physiological mechanisms  also revolve around achieving a balance be it controlling our blood glucose content or hormonal secretions. Balancing negatives with positives, yin versus yang; the list goes on.

How much does this balancing act relate to events in our daily life, however? We are often in a limbo between negatives and positive situations in life and whether we choose to gravitate towards the positive end or the negative end of emotions is ultimately up to us. Striking a balance and meeting mid-way is often the way most people go, but to gravitate towards a positive mind-set in spite of being faced with hardships is ultimately the desired outcome. This takes an immense amount of courage and patience as well as faith in God that everything that happens is for the better.

The perspective we choose to garner has a significant impact on whether we choose to smile and welcome whatever knocks on our doors with open arms or frown, sulk or blame ourself or others instead. The former gives us strength like none other to face the negatives, with the knowledge that ultimately the scales will tip in the favour of a positive situation. There is always a silver lining in every cloud and that silver lining is something we may not realize until the time comes. Till then, we should believe that life is a balancing act and we alone can decide which direction to tip the scale in at the end of the day. After all, our perspectives carry a large amount of weight! Our happiness and peace of mind is ultimately in our hands, not in the hands of others or the situation; faith in God goes a long way in ensuring that. 

The plan.

Like being in a trance, sometimes we get tied up emotionally and physically with a certain aspect or situation in our lives so much so that we lose ourselves. We start to do things we never used to do, or lose our identities so that someone else may stay happy while we are subtly hurting ourselves without even realizing it. We start to fit ourselves into a formula, a formula determined by someone else or the situation itself. But is it worth it? By hurting ourselves, we indirectly end up hurting the people who do love you the way you are and never questioned you - family, loved ones and those who held your hand and let you hold theirs whenever they were in trouble.

Any relationship in life ultimately does not rely based on simply what others do for you. A stranger can conduct an act of kindness for another - that does not equate to a life-long bond. Doing something for someone should be like donating blood - anonymous and never asking for anything back in return, even if it means never talking about what you do for others. That is what I was taught as a child - never to speak about what I do for others.

In any case, for a relationship to blossom into something that even diamonds cannot scratch involves more than doing things for someone, it involves understanding that person and allowing that person to be there for you as well, without even having to ask. It involves letting go with the faith that even if someone is away he/she is always there for you. It does not talk about working things a certain way, but accepting whichever way a person works, with no expectations whatsoever. It involves knowing someone even more than they know themselves. It involves giving the benefit of the doubt instead of accusing or cornering or taking hurt and insult onto yourself because you know that person never means to hurt you. It is about knowing that you don't buy a relationship, but you let it develop over time.

It naturally will, that is, if it is meant to. If it is not meant to, even time and trying will not let it develop. If God does not have it in our lifelong plan, then it will not manifest no matter how much one tries. But if it is meant to happen, it blossoms into something so precious and that may take years even decades, but it does if it is meant to. Not by trying but by letting go and letting it develop as it does, naturally. The doors to my heart are always open, in any case.

I am nonetheless thankful for the precious relationships that I have in my life, with family, friends and all my loved ones - these relationships which blossomed and ripened like wine over time have truly brought me to the stage that I am in life and I will be eternally grateful to God for letting these develop as I developed. My friends who literally grew up with me and stood the test of time with me will always be precious to me, friends I met along this journey and who continue to share this journey without ever questioning me will also remain dear to me for they also made room in my heart and of course my family who gave me unconditional love no matter what and the latest addition to my life, my life partner and soul mate, who brings out the best in me.

Above all, a lesson every step in life teaches us is that we need to learn how to let go and take our hands of the control buttons and let nature take its course. Most of all, we need to remember that we can only do much and when we are out of breath or fall in exhaustion emotionally and physically, that only God can show the path. We are nothing but God's servants anyway. Everything in my entire life is in your hands, God. You know me best. 

The amazing maze.

Every time one feels as though one has figured it all out, one just realizes that one is trudging along the wrong path and has to backtrack to one’s drawing board. The road ahead is never as clear cut as the mirage makes it seem. Upon reaching the end of one road, there is another winding path that one has to navigate to reach the other end and this continues till one’s last breath.

Life is like a maze, into which one is thrown into upon birth. In the initial stages, there are road markers and signboards which point towards the directions one could take and the options are scarce so one hardly goes wrong. But as one grows older, the routes available to oneself become plentiful – more doors to unlock, more decisions to make and more paths to choose from. Choosing certain doors may have repercussions one has to face and obstacles one has to overcome. We will never truly solve this maze, but the experiences we acquire along the way will definitely make us stronger to face what is behind the next door. Whatever the next path of road entails, I know I can face it because I have faith that God will only bring forth challenges because God knows I have the capabilities to brave them.

I will forever be thankful and indebted to God for sending me guardian angels in the form of friends and family that help me along this amazing maze and for blessing me with my soul mate who shares this journey with me.

A dusty nickel or token of love.

This short clip really set me thinking. The powerful message serves as a reminder to human beings on earth. This reverberating message is that we may have come alone into this world and will leave alone, but the people we meet along the way will mould our lives, both consciously and subconsciously. Many people may be too preoccupied with their daily routines and humdrum of life that they fail to notice the nuances around them - the tiny gestures that make a whirlpool of a difference. Garnering that realization within ourselves makes us appreciative of every tiny detail and every tiny gesture that may change someone's life forever. We may not realize it at the present moment, but we will realize in the near future that even a single dusty nickel or a lifeless pencil can serve as a turning point in someone's life. Occurrences around us may seem insignificant, but they can become steering wheels for change and improvement. It is through these selfless acts that we can be the oil for the gears in someone’s life and set things into motion. Every tiny act can make a gargantuan difference and can change one’s life forever. As humble servants of God, we should never underestimate the power of unconditional love and the fact that one person CAN indeed make a difference to the world, one human being at a time.

If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make that change – Michael Jackson